Let’s talk about body image and the culture around female bodies. 

I have noticed a pattern at the end of every decade. In my late teens, I noticed a lot of talk and fear about moving into the 20’s and not having the “high school bikini body” anymore. The fear of our bodies changing and our stomaches softening into something that was less than what was considered ideal on social media. There was so much pressure girls felt to keep their teenage bodies and not move into a one piece swimsuit. In my late 20’s, I noticed all the talk about who looks like they didn’t have children and losing baby weight to get back to what our bodies were before kids. The shame woman again were feeling about moving into the good o’l one piece swimsuit. The embarrassment over stretch marks and looser skin. Now in my late 30’s, all the talk is about botox and getting after those forehead wrinkles. The late 40’s I’m sure will be all about menopause and trying to have the bodies we had prior to it and don’t forget about hiding those gray hairs. Do you see a pattern here? When will this stop? What will the late 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s bring? Body image in not just something girls in their teens struggle with, but woman of every age. 

Susan Sontag once said,

“For women, only one standard of female beauty is sanctioned: the girl. The great advantage men have is that our culture allows two standards of male beauty: the boy and the man. The beauty of a boy resembles the beauty of a girl. In both sexes it is a fragile kind of beauty and flourishes naturally only in the early part of the life-cycle. Happily, men are able to accept themselves under another standard of good looks — heavier, rougher, more thickly built. A man does not grieve when he loses the smooth, unlined, hairless skin of a boy. For he has only exchanged one form of attractiveness for another: the darker skin of a man’s face, roughened by daily shaving, showing the marks of emotion and the normal lines of age. There is no equivalent of this second standard for women. The single standard of beauty for women dictates that they must go on having clear skin. Every wrinkle, every line, every gray hair, is a defeat.  No wonder that no boy minds becoming a man, while even the passage from girlhood to early womanhood is experienced by many women as their downfall, for all women are trained to continue wanting to look like girls.”

How messed up is this, why is society not allowing woman to age? I could go on and on about how it is a money thing. The money made off of woman’s insecurities is mind blowing. Instead, I want to talk about not fighting aging. It’s gonna happen. I want to talk about how we can shift our mindset for those of you who don’t want to fight this battle. 

I think the most important thing to realize as we age, is that our bodies are not our masterpieces, our lives are! Your body is not all you have to offer the world. It is not your project, your life is your project. Our bodies are just these really amazing tools that allow us to create. Create… purpose, relationships, traditions, healing, education, music, art, etc. Now I’m not saying that we shouldn’t take care of our bodies. We need them healthy to be able to use them to create. There is a big difference between let’s say exercising to take care of your body versus exercising to “fix” your body. When we fully accept that our bodies our not our offerings and that we can use our bodies to create what feels meaningful to us, we can shift into a mindset that allows us to see aging as a gift. It is a gift because the longer we are around to lose our bikini bodies and get those wrinkles, the longer we have to bring things into the world that would not exist otherwise.