When you hear, “back to school,” what do you think? 
For some of us it’s elation! You may even internally be shouting a solid YESSSSSSS, I am so ready for this!  

However, for some of us the fear sets in.  How will my child do? Will they like their classes/teachers? Will they argue with me in the morning? Will their anxiety resurface causing them to refuse to go to school?  Will our peaceful home feel the unrest again? 

For students that face school anxiety the struggle is real.  For parents of students that face school anxiety, the struggle is also real.

So… The question is, how do we equip our children (and us) to manage all these emotions? 

As a School Social Worker and therapist, I have had a lot of experience with students and families working through school anxiety.  Anxiety can be overwhelming and draining, but the beautiful part is it can be managed.  Your child and family deserve to live a life filled with experiences that aren’t dictated by worry or fear. 

So, let’s talk about ways to manage school anxiety and some tips to start the year off right! 

Reinstate a sleep routine 

Many adolescents do not stay on a regimented sleep schedule in the summer.  The freedom of a less scheduled life can be so refreshing and well deserved.  However, as we enter back into the regular scheduled school day, it’s important to properly prepare your child’s body for the transition.   

This may mean device shut-off time.  I may even suggest having the devices plugged into a more central location, such as a kitchen, office or other area in the home.  This will prevent notifications alerting your child and disrupting their sleep. 

You will also want to work on adapting to a scheduled bedtime and wake up time.  This will allow the body to adjust to the school schedule prior to the stress of classes, homework, and after-school activities resuming. 

Set Expectations 

Develop realistic expectations that the transition back to school may be uncomfortable. It is ok to be uncomfortable but know the feeling will not last forever. Also, normalize that it’s ok to have a variety of emotions because it is part of the human experience.  

As a parent, you may also be feeling an increased level of anxiety. Be cognizant of managing your emotions and not project your own fears/emotions onto your child. 

Reconnect with Peers Prior to the Start of the School Year 

Have your children connect with friends prior to the start of the year. It will help having familiar faces and connections which may offer comfort at the start of the year. 

Expose to School Prior to the First Day 

Before the first day, walk the building, go through schedule, drive to the school, etc. If possible, before school is in session, have your child wake up at the time required for school and model the morning routine (see below). Drive them to the school to help prepare/practice for the first day. 

Develop Routines for Evening and Morning 

Prepare the night before: 

·         Charge phones/computers in a charging station 

·         Lay out clothes 

·         Shower the night before 

·         Pack lunch 

·         Have all homework/books/supplies in backpack and ready to go, etc. 

Morning routine:  

·         Allow enough time to get ready in the morning, but not too much time to think/worry. 

·         Avoid screens- these can be a distraction. Screen time can be earned after school if they are ready on time. 

·         Avoid talking about the day (this one can be hard). Do not talk about school or anything school related. Do not offer reassurance things will be fine or question them regarding discomfort they may be feeling.  

·         Send them to school even if they haven’t slept well, haven’t eaten, haven’t brushed teeth and/or combed hair. Have a quick snack and breath mints available for them in the event this happens. 

Seek Parent Support 

If you are struggling with helping your child through their school anxiety/school refusal, seek support. Professional counselors can help you develop a plan and provide guidance and support during this trying time.   

Consider Consulting a Mental Health Professional 

If anxiety/school refusal persists, consider consulting with a mental health professional. Your child may need treatment services to help them. There may also be co-occurring conditions that require identification and treatment.  Some of these may include but aren’t limited to: Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Trauma, Learning Disabilities, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Self –Esteem, and Grief/Loss.  

Don’t Give Up! 

Helping your child through school anxiety/school refusal can be hard. It can be emotionally draining and exhausting. Stay consistent and do not give up. It may get worse before it gets better. Be sure to have things in place to help support your emotional well-being. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it!