Looking for a New Year’s resolution? How about saying YES when it’s easier to say no? by Kendra DeFrank, LCPC
Lotus Therapy Group celebrates ONE YEAR being open this December!
It has been one year since Lotus Therapy Group opened our doors and that has me feeling all sorts of reflective! As I look back, I realize that there were multiple moments where the whole story would have been different if I listened to my fear and chose not to lean into discomfort. I remember the initial conversation about starting Lotus Therapy Group and the feeling of fear that came over me. Fear of change, fear of failure, and most of all fear of the unknown. It would have been so easy to say no to the idea in that moment. It is comfortable to stick to what we know. It allows us to appear “successful” because there is no risk of failure involved.
However, we cannot grow if we stick to what is comfortable.
I am so glad I said yes that day to starting Lotus. It could have resulted in failure, but instead it resulted in a beautiful business partnership, healing for countless clients, and an amazing team of talented therapists and dietitians. The ironic thing is that many of the people who helped us along the way were relationships that were born out of saying yes in the midst of discomfort and fear. For example, many years ago a new neighbor invited us to their daughter’s birthday party. As we walked up to their house, it looked pretty quiet and my husband said to me “this looks more like a family party and it would be weird to go in there”. We could have turned around in that moment to avoid the discomfort of a small crowd of people we didn’t know and those all too often awkward conversations with strangers. Again, I’m so glad I leaned into the fear of the unknown. These neighbors have became some of the greatest friends we could ask for and as Lotus was being developed they designed the signs for our business. That would not have happened if in that seemingly small moment we turned around and went to sit in the comfort of our own home. That split second in which we could have said no but didn’t led to these amazing signs. Thank you Jill!
Another example is that of our website designer and photographer. She used to live by me many years ago. She randomly asked me one day if she could photograph my growing baby bump. I said yes despite not knowing her well at the time. I could have said no and if I did she might not have become my family photographer for the last ten years and a vital part of getting Lotus Therapy Group off the ground. Thank you Andrea!
As I reflect on what saying yes in the midst of discomfort has allowed, it makes me wonder what could have happened all of the times I said no out of fear. It makes me think of all of our clients. The bravery they have to make that initial phone call or e-mail to ask for help... that is leaning into discomfort. The choice to open up about very personal things within the first hour of meeting me... that is leaning into discomfort. The choice our clients make to listen to their treatment team and take steps towards recovery when they do not even know what recovery will look like... that is leaning into discomfort.
The choice to say yes to healing when you are scared of change, vulnerability, and the unknown has such a big reward. I have had the privilege to witness individuals say yes to reliving their traumas in order to heal from them, clients who have said yes to trusting that recovery is better than the safety they find in their eating disorders, and so on. So let’s all join together in starting the new year off with saying yes more and seeing what amazing things come out of doing so. Cheers to 2022 bringing you growth, connections, and happiness because you decided to take risks versus playing it safe!
may today
be a day,
when you realize
it’s okay,
to be afraid
of the unknown,
and walk through it anyway.
