Overcoming Your Fear of Gaining Weight by Alexis Banks, RD, LDN
For most people, especially those in recovery, the thought of weight gain may cause a lot of fear and anxiety. Understanding and navigating weight gain/weight restoration is a challenging and necessary step to achieve full recovery. Weight gain can be scary and uncomfortable, and there is a lot of unknown associated with the process of “letting go.”
So, if you give up control, what happens?
Take a look at the list below to see any negative consequences that you fear might occur if you gain weight:
Being socially rejected
Not being able to wear certain clothes or noticing your clothes fit differently
Judgment from others
Negative comments from others
You will be seen as “unhealthy” or as if you “let yourself go”
You will be abandoned by certain people in your life
You won’t be able to excel at your sport
Negative health consequences
Feeling unsafe mentally or emotionally
Not fitting in to societal standards
Comparison
Feeling a loss of control
Before we move forward, here are some questions to ask yourself:
Where did my fear of weight gain come from?
Why might I value thinness?
What is my own opinion of people in larger bodies?
Why might my body be tied to my worth?
How are these beliefs impacting me and my relationship with food and my body?
What would it be like to let go of this fear and embrace my body for the incredible being that it is?!
What are the facts?!?!
Why is the fear of weight gain so prevalent in our society?
The desire that many people have to lose weight is normal, given that we live in a very weight-centric and fatphobic culture. From a young age, so many people are bombarded with media messages, advertisements, and societal norms that glorify thinness as the ultimate symbol of beauty, health, and success. This creates a societal standard where being thin is often equated with being “worthy” or “acceptable,” and weight gain is often equated with failure or loss of control. The fear of weight gain is also perpetuated by judgment, fatphobia, and the weight/health stigmas that are present in today’s society.
“But why do I have to gain weight? I look and feel fine.”
The importance of weight restoration in eating disorder recovery
I want to start by saying that not everyone has to restore weight as part of their recovery; however, for many, this serves as an integral piece of their treatment and recovery. Weight restoration is required to help reverse physical complications and improve cognitive function to make treatment effective, regardless of if you are underweight or not. Weight restoration can have a number of immediate and long-term benefits for those who are struggling with an eating disorder. It is not just people who fall into an “underweight” category that need to restore weight. People in bodies that are weight suppressed (living at a weight lower than what is healthy for them, but not classified as underweight) will need to restore as well. It is essential that your body returns to a weight that it is healthy at, because anything less, and your brain will still believe that there is an element of restriction or deprivation.
Remember - your body doesn’t know the difference between intentional restriction or famine!
Finding your body’s weight set point
This involves understanding the weight range where your body naturally feels most comfortable and stable without extreme dieting or excessive exercise. Your set point is influenced by genetics, hormones, metabolism, and lifestyle factors, and it can fluctuate over time due to changes in diet, activity levels, or health conditions. To identify your body’s set point, it’s important to listen to your hunger and fullness cues, engage in regular, enjoyable physical activity, and nourish yourself with a balanced diet. I also want to note that depending on where you are in your recovery, you may not be able to fully listen to your body’s hunger and fullness cues right now! Avoiding restrictive dieting or obsession with the scale is key for finding your weight set point, as these can disrupt your body’s natural ability to maintain a stable weight range. Over time, your body will settle into a weight that feels sustainable and natural, reflecting your overall health rather than an idealized number. Remember that your “ideal” weight may not be your healthy weight!
What is Health at Every Size®?
Health at Every Size® (HAES) is an approach that emphasizes overall well-being over weight loss, and promotes body acceptance for people of all sizes. HAES challenges traditional weight-focused health models, advocating that health can be achieved through behaviors such as intuitive eating, regular physical activity, and self-care regardless of body size. HAES® promotes weight-neutral healthcare, where practitioners prioritize overall wellness and the prevention of chronic conditions without focusing on weight loss as the primary goal. This philosophy encourages individuals to focus on their physical and mental health rather than the number on the scale - supporting the idea that every person, regardless of their shape or size, deserves respect and the right to live comfortably in a healthy body! You deserve to take up space in this world!
What does body acceptance look like?
Body acceptance is about embracing and appreciating your body as it is, regardless of societal standards or expectations. It involves letting go of the pressure to conform to a specific size or appearance and instead focusing on what your body is capable of each and every day! Body acceptance means treating yourself with kindness and compassion, celebrating your uniqueness, and understanding that your worth isn’t defined by your physical appearance. Accepting your body also involves shifting away from negative self-talk and criticism, and shifting towards a mindset of gratitude for your body’s strength, resilience, and individuality. Body acceptance is a journey of learning to love and accept yourself fully, no matter your shape or size.
Tips for dealing with weight gain and how to start embracing your body!
Focus on how your body FEELS, not how your body LOOKS!
Wear clothes that you like, that you feel comfortable and confident in!
Engage in movement that is actually enjoyable!
Surround yourself with positive influences - those who support self-love and body diversity
Remind yourself that gaining weight is a natural part of life and does not diminish your worth
Practice self-compassion and challenge your negative internal dialogue
Utilize affirmations that are neutral and don’t have anything to do with your body
Focus on self care! You deserve to take care of yourself
Challenge the societal standards that are placed on us. Beauty comes in all forms!
Over time, utilizing these tips will help you build a healthier, more positive relationship with food and your body. Embracing yourself is a journey, give yourself grace!
It’s easy to get caught up in the societal belief that weight loss equals success, and as a result, weight gain is often perceived as a failure in today’s society. However, recovery is not about adhering to external ideals of body shape or size, it’s about healing both mentally and physically! It’s important to recognize that weight restoration is a vital part of recovery as it supports your body in restoring balance and functioning optimally. Remember that recovery is about healing your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. It’s a journey of learning to trust your body and understand that health comes in many shapes and sizes.
Your worth is not defined by your body!!
To learn more or connect with someone from our team please reach out to Lotus Therapy Group at 708-552-7330 or email us at lotustherapygroup@gmail.com.
